Fighting a Great Battle

This post was written in March, 2014.

I’m on a bit of a kick about bad stuff lately, since that seems to be what I wake up to each morning. It’s interesting how the stuff you’re going through changes the lens through which you see the world.

One of the good things about my dad’s cancer diagnosis is that I feel gentler toward people. Every time I get off the phone with my dad or his wife I’ve received bad news. Sometimes it’s really awful (we didn’t get into the clinical trial we were hoping for) and sometimes just bad (he lost another three pounds) but either way I hang up the phone feeling oddly out of place in the world. It’s astonishing to look around and see the world functioning as it always has. It seems like something should be different. There should be some acknowledgment in the world at large that BAD THINGS ARE HAPPENING TO ME.

But there isn’t. And I can’t walk around oozing my angst over everyone so I smile and go through my day as though the edges of my life weren’t falling off and disappearing.

And then I realize that this is happening all around me. Every day, people get the news that they or a loved one are sick. Or dying. Or dead. Every day, people are wounded through divorce or betrayal. Or the more routine hurts – job loss, choices poorly made, words said in anger. All around are people whose worlds just got tilted a little, but you’d never know it. They smile and speak politely and hold the door for you at the library because we are civilized people, darn it.

I wish I could say this has changed my perspective entirely and that I don’t get irritated at other people’s stupidity because maybe they just found out they need a heart transplant, but it hasn’t. It has, however, made me more aware that there might be underlying reasons for people’s rudeness or seemingly unnecessary self awareness.

And that’s a start.

I Am Spock

I just had a blast taking my very first Myers-Briggs personality test. Why I never did before is beyond me, because I just love stuff like this. And now that I know my personality type, I know why!

But before we get to the results, I had to share some of the questions that I found amusing.

There were a few that I didn’t understand at all.

You prefer activities that affect your emotions (e.g. sympathy).

and

Small talk is fun.

Do people actually think these things? Somebody who’s more sensitive please explain to me why you would prefer to engage in activities that affect your emotions.

Then there were those that fit me to a T.

You would rather come up with an action plan than deal with its implementation.

Summer is my favorite – two full months of planning for school. Actually doing what I’ve planned is less fun.

You seek to have as much control over your life as possible.

My husband is laughing right now.

And then there was this one.

You are never late to work or meetings.

Ok. If I didn’t have five children to drag around everywhere I would SO be on time! All the time! Early even! As it stand, being late is one of my major pet peeves in life. But that doesn’t stop it from happening regularly.

If you know me, you’re probably not surprised to hear that I share a personality trait with Vladimir Putin, Professor Moriarty and Spock: I’m an INTJ. And here’s a fun fact: INTJs are known for not being very good in social situations, for hating small talk and being wallflowers. I am not like that. Want to know why? I learned early on as a pastor’s wife that if I didn’t talk to people, I came off as rude. For years my most dreaded five minutes of every week were the five minutes during service when the pastor said, “Turn around and meet a few people”. I wanted to crawl under my chair. So I forced myself to learn how to talk to people. Now I talk to people all the time, but the truth is that I tend to overcompensate for not feeling comfortable by talking too much. Then I go home and kick myself for blabbering on and on about myself. Now you know.

So what’s your type? If you don’t know, you can go here and take the test yourself. Come back and let me know!

Brieana

And we’re off..

I’m back.

About 18 months ago I ceased blogging at http://www.thelivingwell.blogspot.com and bought a domain called entropyblog.com with the intention of starting a new, really cool and amazing blog there. And then I got busy and it never happened. Today I decided to stop putting it off and get to work.

Welcome!

At some point I’ll figure out how to link this blog to the domain I bought (since I’ve been paying for it for over a year) but for now, at least we’ve begun. Because there’s no time like the present.

Blessings! 

Brieana

P.S. This time around I want the blog to be a community. I’m looking for other people to contribute! So if you think you’re witty or smart or you know how to do something cool like make tortillas or paint, send me a post! If I like it, I’ll put it up!